Love, Your Mom

May 9, 2020

Well, howdy, friends and neighbors!

I hope you are all doing well, since our last chat. Things are opening up a little around here and I believe that is a good thing! I see many posts on Facebook about giving both sides of this argument grace, and I love that! This is hard stuff; I truly don’t know that ANYONE has all of the info or the answers, so to me, grace is the way to go!

Here’s a short update on me:

I am currently fighting my FOURTH infection since January – FOURTH. Another UTI; but, this one came with a parting gift, friends – an itchy rash on day 4 from the antibiotic. So, yesterday, I started over…ugh.

Yep, went to bed Thursday night with my whole body on fire. I itched in places I couldn’t even FIND, let alone scratch! Around 11:30 or so, I finally decided to take some Benadryl, then around midnight, still not asleep, but groggy, got up and did what any self-respecting, itchy, medication-induced stupor woman in her 50s would do…

I got up, read, and ate Veggie Straws and roasted garlic hummus. I DO NOT recommend it…

Then, to add insult to injury, I cut my hand last night with a BUTTER KNIFE, trying to separate frozen dumplings! And, for those of you who are thinking,

“Cut from a butter knife? No biggie…” just take a look at this:

Uh-huh. Pretty bad, right?

And, if I have not mentioned this here before, I have a little issue with seeing blood – my blood, someone else’s blood, you know, just BLOOD in general. It makes me feel really QUEASY and I have been known to pass out.

So, here I am, trying to be The Pioneer Woman, convenient style, and blood is flowing pretty quickly from my hand, I’m seeing stars, you get the picture. I call Robert, who thankfully was already on his way home, then just tried to keep it together – literally and figuratively – with a towel wrapped around my hand until he got home.

It’s in a really unfortunate area on my hand, as far as places for cuts go, but whatever, right? I mean, what are you gonna do? Moving on…

Well, this weekend is Mother’s Day, a day where we honor mothers everywhere for the impact they have on our lives.

I dare say, this Mother’s Day is going to be different for a lot of folks. More than likely, families will not be together because of, you know, Covid-19, and that’s kinda sad.

I will have the privilege of spending Mother’s Day tomorrow with my precious, wonderful mom. I am so, so thankful that God chose her to be my mom. The vast knowledge bank of things she’s taught me, through her words, actions and experiences, are absolutely priceless – seriously, Mastercard should consider making a commercial about her!

I am so thankful to have a mom who has been super laid back through my entire life – and, believe me, it’s not all been a party. But, she has never wavered in her faith in God or in me, and people, that speaks VOLUMES! She is beautiful on the outside, has a great outgoing personality, loves to laugh (like her daughter), has been married to her husband for 53 years, has taught MANY nurses their skills, loves and is fiercely loyal to her family and friends and has spent her life loving Jesus and others. I mean, what more can you ask for in a mom? Here’s her sweet picture:

So it will be great to spend another Mother’s Day with her and one to remember – Mother’s Day during “The Great Quarantine of 2020.”

But, it is with a fairly heavy heart that I tell you my one and only son will not be coming in for Mother’s Day this year, because of said quarantine – the first Mother’s Day in 23 years that I’ve not been with my kid. BUMMER, EXTRAORDINAIRE.

He is working every other day in his office and just feels that it’s too risky to be around my parents and I, so he’s not coming.

I tried some minor “motherly manipulation” to get him to change his mind and come, but stopped short of my old trick – crying and laying on the guilt – because, well, he’s a grown up and gets to decide.

My husband keeps telling me that he’s just trying to protect us, but what’s Mother’s Day without your child? I’m about to find out and will let you know. No, I just decided to try very hard to respect his decision and not be mad (which was one of his specific questions about not coming.) It’s hard.

So, I thought for the end of my post today, besides saluting and highly esteeming mothers everywhere, I’d share my thoughts about being a mom in the form of a letter to my child. Here goes:

Dear Riley,

It’s the Saturday before my first Mother’s Day without you, and, although I understand your reasoning for not coming in, I’m still kinda sad.

I mean, I know in a lot of ways, it’s “just another day,” and that we can celebrate all over again when you FINALLY get to come in, but still. I’ve spent 22 Mother’s Days with you and am sorry to see the end of our streak.

I guess it’s because being your mom has been the greatest job, challenge, adventure of my life – I would do it all over again in a heartbeat! And, even though I LOVE the man you’ve become, I still think about you as a little boy, those times when it was just me and you, against the world! Now, those times weren’t as “lovely” as I’m remembering them, but being your mother always has been!

Although you are very different from me, personality-wise, I have never enjoyed ANYTHING as much as being your mom – watching you grow, watching you figure things out, seeing your personality develop, watching your interests take shape, rejoicing in how smart you were, watching you navigate childhood, the teenaged years and even college, as smoothly as I think is possible for ANY kid. Watching your baby face change into a little boy face, then that little boy face change into a teenaged face, then finally into the handsome young man you are today. I wouldn’t change a thing.

When I look at all of the jobs, tasks, challenges I have had in my 50+ years, I guess the thing I am most happy and confident about is being a mom. Not that I was the perfect mom or did and said everything perfectly – we both know I didn’t – but, being a mom was something I dreamed of my entire life and I felt totally called by God to do.

The truth is, even though you haven’t lived at home for 4+ years now, and I will forever be your mom and you will forever be my “baby,” sorry/not sorry, I still have days where I really struggle with knowing what my purpose is now. I mean, I feel like in so many ways, my “mom-job” is over and it’s like,

“What the heck do I do now?”

Now, before you agree that my job is done, I know it’s not. (sorry/not sorry) Just like I still need my parents, I know you still need me. You definitely need me to tell which spices to buy and how to separate an egg white, but that’s just the beginning. You have so many life experiences to come, and trust me, you’re gonna need your mom! But, the truth is, I still need you, too!

I need you to understand and indulge me when you feel like I’m “in your business” (sorry/not sorry), or when you think I’m clingy or call too often. I mean, this has been a difficult adjustment for me! I’m your mom and carrying you for 9 months in my short little body buys me certain privileges – ask anyone.

The bottom line is that you are such a part of me and no matter what I go on to do in this life, I can’t imagine doing anything that will bring me as much joy as being your mom has. It’s been the greatest decision and accomplishment of my life and I hope this is the ONLY Mother’s Day we EVER spend apart! Make plans now, Son!

“I love you forever, I like for always, as long as I’m living my baby you’ll be!”

Love, Your Mom

And to conclude, here are just a few of my favorite pictures of him and us!

Happy Mother’s Day to mothers everywhere – your job MATTERS and I honor you today and everyday for the job you do in raising your kids!

and above all else love